Poetry and Storytelling by Kai
WORDS BY KAI. This site is the home of creative expression fueled by passion and inspired by the sparks of a my starlight muse. On these pages you will find my creative voice in lines of poetry, thoughtful essays and commentary, creative storytelling, and in an array of beautiful words to inspire the logophile in us all.
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HOMEPAGE ~ SITE DIRECTORY ~ ABOUT
Learn new words with the Word of the Day and the topic Word Lists. Build your new vocabulary with new words, old words, obscure words and untranslatable words from faraway lands.
HOMEPAGE ~ SITE DIRECTORY ~ ABOUT
- ORIGINAL POETRY [A -F] [G-M] [N-Z]
- THOUGHTS AND COMMENTARY - [Personal Narratives] [Informative Articles] [Social Commentary]
- CREATIVE STORYTELLING
Learn new words with the Word of the Day and the topic Word Lists. Build your new vocabulary with new words, old words, obscure words and untranslatable words from faraway lands.
THOUGHTS AND COMMENTARY
Commentaries and essays on a variety of topics including parenting, the capacity for love, emotions, mindfulness and social issues.
Directory Informational Articles
The Importance of Self Care
Self-care is a broad term that encompasses just about anything you to do be good to yourself. It’s about being as kind to yourself as you would be to others. It’s about knowing that when your resources are running low you can step back to replenish rather than letting them all drain away.
It’s about integrating self-compassion into your life and coming to love yourself. Self-compassion is not a valuation of self-worth. It’s just a way of treating yourself kindly whether things are good or things are bad…. You can motivate yourself not out of fear of being inadequate, but because you care about yourself.
Self-care is a very active and powerful choice to engage in the activities that are required to gain or maintain an optimal level of overall health. Overall health includes not just the physical, but the psychological, emotional, social, and spiritual components of an individual’s well-being.
By taking care of yourself, you are encouraging a more empowered narrative, creating a life from a position of good energy and creativity. The ripple effect of this type of action, no matter how small or large, positively impacts those closest to you on many levels.
BENEFITS
SELF CARE BILL OF RIGHTS
TYPES OF SELF CARE
SENSORY
Sensory self-care is about helping to calm your mind. When you are able to tune into the sensations all around you, you can live in the present moment. And when you’re in the present, you can more effectively let go of resentments related to the past or anxieties about the future.
When you think about practicing sensory self-care, consider all of your senses: touch, smell, sound, and sight. Consider the principles of mindfulness.
Most people are more responsive to one sense than the others, so ask yourself what that sense might be for you.
The following examples of sensory self-care involve at least one sense, but may include more.
EMOTIONAL
When it comes to your emotional health, it is important to make sure you fully engage with your emotions. When you face them head-on, you can handle them much better and reduce your stress.
Don’t push down feelings like sadness or anger. It’s healthier to feel them, accept them, and move on.
Emotions are not “good” or “bad” in themselves. You are not to blame for the emotions you feel; only in how you behave in response to them.
Some ideas for handling emotions:
SPIRITUAL
If you’re not religious, you might be tempted to skim-read this section or skip it altogether. However, spiritual self-care isn’t just about believing in God. It’s just as applicable to atheists and agonistics as it is religious people. Spiritual self-care is about getting in touch with your values and beliefs and understanding what really matters to you.
Self-care stresses knowing your sense of purpose is vital. Below are some versatile examples that can help you with this.
PHYSICAL
The importance of self-care extends to the physical aspects of your health. Physical activity is vital not only for your bodily well-being but also for helping with stress. Exercise doesn’t have to be grueling sessions at the gym. Instead try some of these ideas.
Physical Self-Care Ideas
In addition, physical self-care is as much about the things you don’t do as the things you do! So:
SOCIAL
Connecting with other people is necessary for happiness for a large diversity of people. It helps you to understand that you’re not alone. Plus, it can also give us a sense of being accepted by others. This can, in particular, help us combat loneliness and isolation. Social self-care isn’t about just doing things with others for the sake of it, but about choosing to do things with people who really make you feel good.
Social Self-Care Ideas
Professionals need to be part of your support system.
PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT
Caring for yourself extends to your personal development, sense of personal space and what you permit in your life. This means:
PAMPERING
Once you’ve decided it’s time to start nurturing yourself and your body, be sure to block off some time for this. Try to schedule a block where you won’t be interrupted. You need only to have a bathroom to give yourself a home-spa experience; you can put on some soothing music, and try some or all of the following self-care strategies.
WHAT IS NOT SELF CARE
Trying to please everyone and putting yourself last. Overextending yourself caring for others will lead to burnout. Don’t put the needs of others at the expense of attending to your own needs.
You need to decompress and rest after long days but as tempting it may be to shut down your brain in front of a reality show marathon until you pass out but it is healthier to take a bath and go to bed.
Dressing yourself well and being well-groomed and confident is a great example of self-care. But there's a difference between putting on your best pressed suit or dress when you want to feel like a boss, and going out to buy things you don't need and racking up credit card debt. Dress well on a budget.
Eating well and treating yourself to ice cream or a cookie is self care. Gorging yourself on sugary foods as a reward is not. You risk your health with this practice.
Self-care is not jumping from one fad diet to the next or obsessively working out in an effort to create a chiseled body. Exercise as self-care works when it's about feeling good, healthy, and self-confident, not when it's about living in the gym to always be bikini-ready.
Making time for friends and fun is definitely crucial, but if you find yourself going out constantly at the expense of any of your other self-care routines, responsibilities, or budget, then maybe you should ask yourself if there's something you're avoiding (unintentionally or not).
While setting healthy boundaries is pivotal to maintaining your health and sanity, there is the potential to go too far, and start to isolate yourself from meaningful relationships.
EMBRACING SELF CARE
MAKE YOURSELF A PRIORITY
Self care is putting a priority on taking care of your mind, body and spirit. It is also giving yourself permission to just pause and enjoy the present moment.
Caring for yourself is not indulgent it is an act of survival. It is not a luxury it is a priority. It doesn’t mean “me first” it means “me too.”
Focus on your mental health. Take time for yourself and your spirit. Do not feel guilty or selfish. The world will see you the way it sees you and treat you the way you treat yourself.
Make a promise to hold your own well-being sacred. Promise to love, honor and cherish yourself. Promise to care for yourself like you care for others.
When caring for ourselves is a distraction, is numbing or avoidance it is time to pause, reflect, regroup and make changes.
TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF SO YOU CAN TAKE CARE OF OTHERS
It is giving the world the best of you and not what is left of you.
You will never speak to others as much as you speak to yourself. Choose your words wisely. Talk to yourself like you would to someone you love deeply.
The relationship you have with yourself sets the tone for every other relationship you have.
Self care is taking care of yourself. Caring for your mind and thoughts, physical health and body, your spiritual health, and your feelings and emotions. Be good to all of these things so that you can be good to others. If not you then who? If not now then when?
Without self care and support from others your relationships can suffer and become the target of your unhappiness. Don’t give up what makes your life work for anyone. Maintaining balance is better than starting over.
A deep sense of of love and belonging is a need of all people. Start with yourself. We are biologically, cognitively, physically, and spiritually wired to love, be loved and belong. When those needs are not met we don’t function. We break, fall apart, numb, ache, hurt ourselves, hurt others, and get sick.
Self care is like the oxygen masks on airplanes. If you don’t put your mask on before you help others then you are no help. You can’t help others if you are unconscious.
SELF CARE TIPS
Be kind to yourself. Be generous, be accepting, be gentle. Be all of these things. This is where it begins.
The true goal of self improvement is not perfection but to be better than you were before.
It is ok to make mistakes, to have bad days, to be less than perfect, to do what is best for you, and to be yourself.
Nourishing yourself in a way that helps you blossom in a direction you want to go is attainable and worth the effort.
Give yourself a break. Give yourself credit. Give yourself time, attention, love, and power. Give yourself you.
Change the changeable, accept the unchangeable and remove yourself from the unacceptable.
If it feels wrong, don’t do it. Say exactly what you mean. Don’t be a people pleaser. Never speak badly of yourself. Never give up on yourself or your dreams. Don’t be afraid to say no. Don’t be afraid to say yes. Let go of what you can’t control. And stay away from negativity.
Listen to your instincts and your intuition. The wisdom in your gut is where your answers reside.
Take care of your thoughts when you are alone and take care of your words when you are with others.
Nurture your spark, find your uniqueness and know and believe how much you matter.
A strong positive self image is the best preparation for success in life.
Don’t choose the convenient, the comfortable, the respectable, or the socially acceptable. Choose what matters the most to you.
PRACTICE MINDFULNESS
Close your eyes and imagine the best parts of yourself. The best version of you. That’s who you really are. Let go of any part of you that doesn’t believe it.
Everything you need like your courage, strength, compassion and love is within you. Look inside yourself.
Happiness starts with you. Not with others, not with your relationships, not with your job, and not with your money or material things. It starts with you.
The mind is like a sea of water. When it is turbulent then it is difficult to see. When it is calm then everything becomes clear.
MINDFULNESS is about approaching everyday with curiosity. Forgiving mistakes big or small. Showing gratitude for good moments and grace for bad ones. Practice compassion for yourself so you be compassionate for others. Make peace for imperfection. Embrace vulnerability by trusting yourself. Accept and appreciate that things come and go.
To mediate you must smile. Smile with your face, your mind and your energy.
Slow down, calm down, don’t worry, and don’t hurry. Trust the process.
MINDFULNESS is not about escaping from the world. It is about coming back to yourself to see what is going on right now. Once there is seeing then there is acting. With MINDFULNESS we know what to do and what not to do.
MINDFULNESS is a journey from sound to silence, from movement to stillness, and from a limited identity to unlimited space.
Without trying to change the way you walk simply observe how it feels. Take a moment to observe it and notice it.
Be the silent watcher of your thoughts and behavior. You are beneath the thinker. You are the stillness beneath the mental noise. You are the love and the joy beneath the pain.
PLAN YOUR ROUTINE
It’s about integrating self-compassion into your life and coming to love yourself. Self-compassion is not a valuation of self-worth. It’s just a way of treating yourself kindly whether things are good or things are bad…. You can motivate yourself not out of fear of being inadequate, but because you care about yourself.
Self-care is a very active and powerful choice to engage in the activities that are required to gain or maintain an optimal level of overall health. Overall health includes not just the physical, but the psychological, emotional, social, and spiritual components of an individual’s well-being.
By taking care of yourself, you are encouraging a more empowered narrative, creating a life from a position of good energy and creativity. The ripple effect of this type of action, no matter how small or large, positively impacts those closest to you on many levels.
BENEFITS
- Increased self-awareness
- Ability to give more
- Higher self-esteem
- Feeling of empowerment
- Increased productivity
- Improved health and wellbeing
SELF CARE BILL OF RIGHTS
- I have the right to take care of myself
- I have the right to seek professional help
- I have the right to rest and take a mental health break
- I have the right to say no and stand up for myself
- I have the right to be healthy (mind/body/spirit)
- I have the right to set clear boundaries
- I have the right to enjoy life to the fullest
- I have the right to acknowledge my emotions
- I have the right to accept life as it comes
- I have the right to not have it all figured out
- I have the right to start over
TYPES OF SELF CARE
SENSORY
Sensory self-care is about helping to calm your mind. When you are able to tune into the sensations all around you, you can live in the present moment. And when you’re in the present, you can more effectively let go of resentments related to the past or anxieties about the future.
When you think about practicing sensory self-care, consider all of your senses: touch, smell, sound, and sight. Consider the principles of mindfulness.
Most people are more responsive to one sense than the others, so ask yourself what that sense might be for you.
The following examples of sensory self-care involve at least one sense, but may include more.
- Going to the countryside or the beach and focusing on the smell of the air.
- Watching the flames of a candle or a fire.
- Focusing on the movements of your own breathing. See mindfulness for more on this.
- Sitting in the heat of the afternoon sun.
EMOTIONAL
When it comes to your emotional health, it is important to make sure you fully engage with your emotions. When you face them head-on, you can handle them much better and reduce your stress.
Don’t push down feelings like sadness or anger. It’s healthier to feel them, accept them, and move on.
Emotions are not “good” or “bad” in themselves. You are not to blame for the emotions you feel; only in how you behave in response to them.
Some ideas for handling emotions:
- Keep a daily journal and be honest about your feelings.
- See a therapist and be honest with them
- Write a list of “feeling words” to expand your emotional vocabulary.
- Make time to be with a friend or family member who truly understands you.
- Let yourself cry when you need to.
SPIRITUAL
If you’re not religious, you might be tempted to skim-read this section or skip it altogether. However, spiritual self-care isn’t just about believing in God. It’s just as applicable to atheists and agonistics as it is religious people. Spiritual self-care is about getting in touch with your values and beliefs and understanding what really matters to you.
Self-care stresses knowing your sense of purpose is vital. Below are some versatile examples that can help you with this.
- Keep up a daily meditation or mindfulness practice.
- Attend a service, whether it is religious or humanistic.
- Read or write poetry.
- Walk in nature and reflecting on the beauty around you.
- Make a daily list of 5-10 things that make you feel grateful.
- Be creative, whether through art, music, writing or something else entirely.
- Make a list of 5-10 things that make you feel alive, then ask yourself how you can better incorporate these things into your life.
- Say affirmations that ground your sense of self and purpose.
- Surround yourself with inspiration
PHYSICAL
The importance of self-care extends to the physical aspects of your health. Physical activity is vital not only for your bodily well-being but also for helping with stress. Exercise doesn’t have to be grueling sessions at the gym. Instead try some of these ideas.
Physical Self-Care Ideas
- Dance to your favorite songs
- Do yoga. Even if you’ve never tried it, there are poses that are perfect for beginners.
- Join a class and learn a new sport.
- Go running with your dog (or a friend’s)
- Cycle through the countryside.
- Simply go for a walk.
In addition, physical self-care is as much about the things you don’t do as the things you do! So:
- Nap when you need to. Just 20 minutes can make you feel mentally and physically refreshed.
- Say “no” to invitations when you’re simply too tired to enjoy them.
- Don’t push yourself to do your exercise routine when you’re run down or unwell.
- Commit to 7-9 hours of sleep per night, barring exceptional circumstances.
SOCIAL
Connecting with other people is necessary for happiness for a large diversity of people. It helps you to understand that you’re not alone. Plus, it can also give us a sense of being accepted by others. This can, in particular, help us combat loneliness and isolation. Social self-care isn’t about just doing things with others for the sake of it, but about choosing to do things with people who really make you feel good.
Social Self-Care Ideas
- Make a date to have lunch or dinner with a great friend.
- Write an email to someone who lives far away, but who you miss.
- Reach out to someone you like but haven’t seen in a while.
- Consider joining a group of people who share your interests.
- Stop socializing with those who undermine or disempower you.
- Strike up a conversation with someone new.
- Join a support group for people who struggle with the same things you do.
- Sign up for a class to learn something and meet new people at the same time.
- Building a network of friends helps you take care of yourself very well.
Professionals need to be part of your support system.
- Going to the doctor and the dentist is a necessary part of good self-care.
- Getting your annual physical is an example of self-care that many of us dismiss. Don’t forget about your gynecology needs like a Pap smear or mammogram.
- It may be time to talk to a therapist, counselor or therapy group when you feel you are leaning on your friends too much, or when venting isn’t enough. Professional guidance can make all the difference when you are finding it hard to make a change.
- Counseling may be the answer when you feel you can’t say no, or you feel guilty or ashamed when you do it. If you feel you are drinking too much, misusing food or drugs, or spending too much time online, it may be time to ask for help. Counseling can help you find out what you are looking for, how you are coping, and seek what you want in more beneficial ways.
PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT
Caring for yourself extends to your personal development, sense of personal space and what you permit in your life. This means:
- Saying “no” to extra obligations without guilt
- Liking yourself and not feeling shame or embarrassed about who you are
- Setting boundaries with family or friends who demand too much energy
- Standing up for yourself at work or in relationships
- Asking for help without hesitation or shame
- Treating yourself with kindness and compassion as you work toward your goals
- Know you are enough
PAMPERING
Once you’ve decided it’s time to start nurturing yourself and your body, be sure to block off some time for this. Try to schedule a block where you won’t be interrupted. You need only to have a bathroom to give yourself a home-spa experience; you can put on some soothing music, and try some or all of the following self-care strategies.
- Take a Bath: Get out the bubbles, oils, and scented soaps, and soak until you’re wrinkled.
- Deep-Condition Your Hair: While you’re in the tub, put on a deep-conditioning treatment for your hair, and let it work as you relax.
- Deep-Clean Your Pores: With a nice clay masque, you can draw impurities out of your skin and stress out of your system.
- Care For Your Feet: After you soak your feet to soften calloused skin, use a pumice stone to slough off dead skin, and finish with rich foot cream, and perhaps polish.
- Nourish Your Skin: Rich, luxurious creams smell wonderful and feel smooth, especially if you exfoliate your skin in the tub before putting them on.
- Tend to Your Nails: Correct the beating your nails probably take from your busy life (especially for those of you who bite your nails!) by filing and buffing. A coat of polish can make you feel like a princess for days afterward.
- Get a Massage: This one can be especially nice. If your budget doesn’t allow for regular massages with a professional, see if you can trade with a friend or your spouse, or use an electronic massager.
WHAT IS NOT SELF CARE
Trying to please everyone and putting yourself last. Overextending yourself caring for others will lead to burnout. Don’t put the needs of others at the expense of attending to your own needs.
You need to decompress and rest after long days but as tempting it may be to shut down your brain in front of a reality show marathon until you pass out but it is healthier to take a bath and go to bed.
Dressing yourself well and being well-groomed and confident is a great example of self-care. But there's a difference between putting on your best pressed suit or dress when you want to feel like a boss, and going out to buy things you don't need and racking up credit card debt. Dress well on a budget.
Eating well and treating yourself to ice cream or a cookie is self care. Gorging yourself on sugary foods as a reward is not. You risk your health with this practice.
Self-care is not jumping from one fad diet to the next or obsessively working out in an effort to create a chiseled body. Exercise as self-care works when it's about feeling good, healthy, and self-confident, not when it's about living in the gym to always be bikini-ready.
Making time for friends and fun is definitely crucial, but if you find yourself going out constantly at the expense of any of your other self-care routines, responsibilities, or budget, then maybe you should ask yourself if there's something you're avoiding (unintentionally or not).
While setting healthy boundaries is pivotal to maintaining your health and sanity, there is the potential to go too far, and start to isolate yourself from meaningful relationships.
EMBRACING SELF CARE
MAKE YOURSELF A PRIORITY
Self care is putting a priority on taking care of your mind, body and spirit. It is also giving yourself permission to just pause and enjoy the present moment.
Caring for yourself is not indulgent it is an act of survival. It is not a luxury it is a priority. It doesn’t mean “me first” it means “me too.”
Focus on your mental health. Take time for yourself and your spirit. Do not feel guilty or selfish. The world will see you the way it sees you and treat you the way you treat yourself.
Make a promise to hold your own well-being sacred. Promise to love, honor and cherish yourself. Promise to care for yourself like you care for others.
When caring for ourselves is a distraction, is numbing or avoidance it is time to pause, reflect, regroup and make changes.
TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF SO YOU CAN TAKE CARE OF OTHERS
It is giving the world the best of you and not what is left of you.
You will never speak to others as much as you speak to yourself. Choose your words wisely. Talk to yourself like you would to someone you love deeply.
The relationship you have with yourself sets the tone for every other relationship you have.
Self care is taking care of yourself. Caring for your mind and thoughts, physical health and body, your spiritual health, and your feelings and emotions. Be good to all of these things so that you can be good to others. If not you then who? If not now then when?
Without self care and support from others your relationships can suffer and become the target of your unhappiness. Don’t give up what makes your life work for anyone. Maintaining balance is better than starting over.
A deep sense of of love and belonging is a need of all people. Start with yourself. We are biologically, cognitively, physically, and spiritually wired to love, be loved and belong. When those needs are not met we don’t function. We break, fall apart, numb, ache, hurt ourselves, hurt others, and get sick.
Self care is like the oxygen masks on airplanes. If you don’t put your mask on before you help others then you are no help. You can’t help others if you are unconscious.
SELF CARE TIPS
Be kind to yourself. Be generous, be accepting, be gentle. Be all of these things. This is where it begins.
The true goal of self improvement is not perfection but to be better than you were before.
It is ok to make mistakes, to have bad days, to be less than perfect, to do what is best for you, and to be yourself.
Nourishing yourself in a way that helps you blossom in a direction you want to go is attainable and worth the effort.
Give yourself a break. Give yourself credit. Give yourself time, attention, love, and power. Give yourself you.
Change the changeable, accept the unchangeable and remove yourself from the unacceptable.
If it feels wrong, don’t do it. Say exactly what you mean. Don’t be a people pleaser. Never speak badly of yourself. Never give up on yourself or your dreams. Don’t be afraid to say no. Don’t be afraid to say yes. Let go of what you can’t control. And stay away from negativity.
Listen to your instincts and your intuition. The wisdom in your gut is where your answers reside.
Take care of your thoughts when you are alone and take care of your words when you are with others.
Nurture your spark, find your uniqueness and know and believe how much you matter.
A strong positive self image is the best preparation for success in life.
Don’t choose the convenient, the comfortable, the respectable, or the socially acceptable. Choose what matters the most to you.
PRACTICE MINDFULNESS
Close your eyes and imagine the best parts of yourself. The best version of you. That’s who you really are. Let go of any part of you that doesn’t believe it.
Everything you need like your courage, strength, compassion and love is within you. Look inside yourself.
Happiness starts with you. Not with others, not with your relationships, not with your job, and not with your money or material things. It starts with you.
The mind is like a sea of water. When it is turbulent then it is difficult to see. When it is calm then everything becomes clear.
MINDFULNESS is about approaching everyday with curiosity. Forgiving mistakes big or small. Showing gratitude for good moments and grace for bad ones. Practice compassion for yourself so you be compassionate for others. Make peace for imperfection. Embrace vulnerability by trusting yourself. Accept and appreciate that things come and go.
To mediate you must smile. Smile with your face, your mind and your energy.
Slow down, calm down, don’t worry, and don’t hurry. Trust the process.
MINDFULNESS is not about escaping from the world. It is about coming back to yourself to see what is going on right now. Once there is seeing then there is acting. With MINDFULNESS we know what to do and what not to do.
MINDFULNESS is a journey from sound to silence, from movement to stillness, and from a limited identity to unlimited space.
Without trying to change the way you walk simply observe how it feels. Take a moment to observe it and notice it.
Be the silent watcher of your thoughts and behavior. You are beneath the thinker. You are the stillness beneath the mental noise. You are the love and the joy beneath the pain.
PLAN YOUR ROUTINE
- Eat When You Are Hungry
- Sleep When You Are Tired
- Carve Out 5 Minutes A Day To Sit
- Exercise Your Body
- Allow Yourself To Feel Your Feelings
- Schedule “Me” Time Everyday
- Do things you Love
- Plan and Schedule Your Routine
- Keep it Simple and Remain Flexible
- Unplug from Technology
- Practice Daily Gratitude
- Get to Know Yourself Better
- Love and Honor Yourself Daily
- Create a “no” list, with things you know you don’t like or you no longer want to do. Examples might include: Not checking emails at night, not attending gatherings you don’t like, not answering your phone during lunch/dinner.
- Promote a nutritious, healthy diet.
- Get enough sleep. Adults usually need 7-8 hours of sleep each night.
- Exercise. In contrast to what many people think, exercise is as good for our emotional health as it is for our physical health. It increases serotonin levels, leading to improved mood and energy. In line with the self-care conditions, what’s important is that you choose a form of exercise that you like!
- Follow-up with medical care. It is not unusual to put off checkups or visits to the doctor.
- Use relaxation exercises and/or practice meditation. You can do these exercises at any time of the day.
- Spend enough time with your loved ones.
- Do at least one relaxing activity every day, whether it’s taking a walk or spending 30 minutes unwinding.
- Do at least one pleasurable activity every day; from going to the cinema, to cooking or meeting with friends.
- Look for opportunities to laugh!
STARLIGHT POETRY BY KAI
View Me on Twitter @kairosoflife
See Creativity Chaos - a Creativity Blog by Kai
About | Reprints & Copyrights | Home
© 2019-2020 Copyright Starlight Poetry
VIEW FULL SITE DIRECTORY
View Me on Twitter @kairosoflife
See Creativity Chaos - a Creativity Blog by Kai
About | Reprints & Copyrights | Home
© 2019-2020 Copyright Starlight Poetry
VIEW FULL SITE DIRECTORY