Poetry and Storytelling by Kai
WORDS BY KAI. This site is the home of creative expression fueled by passion and inspired by the sparks of a my starlight muse. On these pages you will find my creative voice in lines of poetry, thoughtful essays and commentary, creative storytelling, and in an array of beautiful words to inspire the logophile in us all.
STARLIGHT NAVIGATION
HOMEPAGE ~ SITE DIRECTORY ~ ABOUT
Learn new words with the Word of the Day and the topic Word Lists. Build your new vocabulary with new words, old words, obscure words and untranslatable words from faraway lands.
HOMEPAGE ~ SITE DIRECTORY ~ ABOUT
- ORIGINAL POETRY [A -F] [G-M] [N-Z]
- THOUGHTS AND COMMENTARY - [Personal Narratives] [Informative Articles] [Social Commentary] [Book Excerpts]
- CREATIVE STORYTELLING
Learn new words with the Word of the Day and the topic Word Lists. Build your new vocabulary with new words, old words, obscure words and untranslatable words from faraway lands.
THOUGHTS AND COMMENTARY
Directory Informational Articles
Commentaries and essays on a variety of topics including parenting, the capacity for love, emotions, mindfulness and social issues.
TIPS ON MODERN ROMANCE AND DATING
See Also:
Online Dating Lingo
Sizzling Facts About Sex
TIPS FOR ROMANCE & DATING
Online Dating Lingo
Sizzling Facts About Sex
TIPS FOR ROMANCE & DATING
- Know your non-negotiables. These are instant deal breakers - like drinking, religious beliefs, unemployment, or not wanting marriage or children. These facts instantly tell you to move on so you’re not wasting your time.
- Don’t limit yourself. In your 20s you might have rejected a divorced guy or one with a child. But the older you get the chances of meeting an older guy who’s been married before or has kids. Stay openminded
- Don’t lie. Don’t even inflate the truth. Be yourself. Honesty from the start is a prerequisite to trust.
- Forget about texting and calling rules. Rules like ‘wait 3 days to call back’ are not cool. Don’t treat a person like a game.
- Pay attention to the red flags. You know that feeling you get when you know something isn’t right? If your date can’t answer simple questions or acts super shady, chances are something weird is going on.
- Be emotionally available. Even if you had bad relationships or your last few dates have gone bad you should keep your heart open and give new people a chance. This new guy isn’t your ex. Don’t compare them.
- Watch the alcohol. Especially on the first date. Not only can getting drunk be risky and a turnoff, it also clouds your judgement. You can do things you did not plan on.
- Remember that dating is an exploration in life. Dating should be fun and a chance to get to know another person who may be a good fit. “Dating is not a commitment. There is no obligation involved with dating.
- Know your sexual boundaries. Don’t confuse sex and sexual desires with a guy’s interest in you. He may just want sex. Explore your sexual boundaries and know where they are and why they’re there.Don’t let yourself be pressured into doing anything you don’t want to do just get his interest.
- Don’t play hard to get. A little mystery may be sexy in the beginning, but the game gets old fast. Don’t play with his feelings.
- Be the date that you want to have. It’s not your date’s sole responsibility to make it a success it’s your responsibility too. Engage with him. Ask questions, show interest. Put the cell phone away. Be attentive. Don’t bring up your ex. Take an interest in the details of his life.
- Rethink the dating wish list. Have your non-negotiables and boundaries set, but don’t have a strict itemized wish list like he must make X amount, be 6’2 or drive a BMW. This will hold you back from men who could be great for you in real life but don’t make the cut.
- Don’t date a guy just to get a husband. You don’t want to settle down with a guy who’s not right for you just so you can get married or your biological clock is ticking. Take each date one date at a time and have fun.
- Be your true self. Any lying or pretending will cause disastrous results. Be brave, be true, and believe that someone will love the real you.
- Finding the right fit. It's not about getting someone to think you're good enough for them. It’s about finding someone you can stand to spend lots of time with. It's about finding the puzzle piece you fit with.
- Sometimes people have little annoying habits. And sometimes they have small behaviors that indicate a complete lack of respect. Don’t put up with bad behavior.
- Don’t worry so much. Stop worrying about potential partners rejecting you for being too heavy, too short, or having glasses. Be yourself - you are good enough.
- Marriage on the first date. A first date is not an audition for marriage. It's just a tryout for a second date. No obligations. Don’t wait for the end of the date for a kiIt works out far better when you kiss a woman earlier on in the date if the chemistry is right. It’s spontaneous and not expected like at the end.
- Don’t put an emphasis on having sex earlier. Sex isn’t everything in a relationship, but it certainly is very important. Why marry someone and spend the rest of your life with them without even knowing if you click? But don’t put a timeframe on it. Be spontaneous.
- Tell her you are into her. You don’t want to tell a woman you really like her on your first date or when you first meet her. However, after a connection and bond is formed, you have to be able to confidently express your feelings.
- Don’t flaunt your money. It’s not about money to her and if it is then she’s shallow. The most important thing is personality and connection, not money. There is more to you than money.
- Balance. Don’t make your search for a relationship the center of your life. Concentrate on activities you enjoy, your career, health, and relationships with family and friends. When you focus on keeping yourself happy, it will keep your life balanced and make you a more interesting person.
- First Impression. Remember that first impressions aren’t always reliable. It always takes time to really get to know a person and you have to experience being with someone in a variety of situations.
- Being Present. Focus outward, not inward. To calm first-date nerves, focus your attention on what your date is saying and doing and what’s going on around you and not on your internal thoughts. Stay fully present in the moment and it will help take your mind off worries and insecurities.
- Be curious. When you’re truly curious about someone else’s thoughts, feelings, experiences, stories, and opinions, it shows—and they’ll like you for it. You’ll come across as far more attractive and interesting. And if you aren’t genuinely interested in your date, there’s little point in pursuing the relationship further.
- Be genuine. Showing interest in others can’t be faked. If you’re just pretending to listen or care, your date will pick up on it. No one likes to be manipulated or placated. If you aren’t genuinely interested in your date, there is little point in pursuing the relationship further.
- Pay attention. Make an effort to truly listen to the other person. By paying close attention to what they say, do, and how they interact, you’ll quickly get to know them.
- Don’t take it personally. If you’re rejected after one or a few dates, the other person is likely only rejecting you for superficial reasons you have no control over like some people prefer blondes to brunettes. Or they are unable to overcome their own issues.
- Don’t dwell on it, but learn from the experience. Don’t beat yourself up over any mistakes you think you made. If it happens repeatedly, though, take some time to reflect on how you relate to others, and any problems you need to work on. Then let it go. Dealing with rejection in a healthy way can increase your strength and resilience.
- Acknowledge your feelings. It’s normal to feel a little hurt, resentful, disappointed, or even sad when faced with rejection. It’s important to acknowledge your feelings without trying to suppress them. Practicing mindfulnesscan help you stay in touch with your feelings and quickly move on from negative experiences.
- Consider your insecurities. Sometimes it isn't the right time, even if we think it is. Whenever you feel insecure (even subconsciously) about any quirks, mannerisms, or tendencies, it may not be the right time to be dating. Work on yourself.
- Make sure you can laugh together. You don't need to have an identical sense of humor, nor do you both need to be comedians. But if you aren't smiling and laughing together after a few weeks of dating and getting to know one another, take note.
- Learn about their values early on. No matter how fun someone is, it's difficult to build a life with someone who doesn't value the same things you do. If your values aren't in line, think about how that may play out later on. If your core values aren't in line eventually you'll have to reconcile these differences. No matter how great someone is, it's difficult to build a life with someone who doesn't value the same things you do.
- Pay attention to your mood. Do you feel lighter when you're with them? And even if things feel off or they do something that ticks you off, do you still feel good when you're with them most times? If not then take note.
- Ask yourself who you become when you're with them. After you've been on a handful of dates with your prospective love interest, ask yourself, am I free and comfortable being myself around them? Consider your answers.